OK, here we go... the rest of the deleted scenes. I can't claim that my reflections are completely comprehensive, so if any of you notice anything you feel I should have mentioned... either about any of these scenes or others I may have missed... then let me know in the comments!
As before, these are transcripts from the drafts - you can find scanned copies of the originals on the A. Film L.A. website by following the links in the scene titles. The portions of the transcript in italics are the parts which don't appear in the film, the rest is included to provide context.
Sequence 16: Clown Sequence (Draft No. 1)
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1 LS - Tent. Clowns in sillhouette celebrating and singing, "WE'RE THE SMARTEST CLOWNS ----."
2 MS - Ollie and Frank dancing and singing, "WE'RE THE ANSWER TO AN OLD RINGMASTER'S DREAM."
3 MS - "WE'RE THROUGH WITH PLAYING HICK TOWNS, FROM NOW ON IT'S ---"
4 MS - Group of clowns dancing and singing finish of song - "---THE BIG TOWNS, FOR THE GREATEST CLOWNS THE WORLD
HAS EVER SEEN."
5 CU - Clown who says "HERE YOU ARE JOEY, POUR IT IN ME SLIPPER."
____
The dialogue throughout this sequence is not given in full in the draft, but in a shortened (and sometimes very slightly paraphrased) form. Fortunately most of the cut song is included in the draft, and, better yet, Hans has posted up an acetate recording of it, and of the "hit the big boss for a raise" reprise that survived into the film.
Mark Mayerson mentioned that a lot of the film relies on "the principle of contrast", and there's certainly a lot of contrast going from the tear-jerker previous sequence to the clowns laughing it up in their tent. There would have been more of a direct contrast if they had kept these scenes in, as the film would have gone from one song (the lullaby) to another (the clowns' celebration song). Maybe that kind of cut would have been a bit too jarring, though.
And, yes, two of the clowns are identified as "Ollie and Frank". If they really are named after the two animators Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston, it's very interesting. Neither worked on Dumbo, but would have been occupied on Bambi at the same time. Seems like some light-hearted in-house rivalry. It's also interesting that, so soon after Ollie's promotion to full animator, than he and Frank would already have been seen as some kind of double-act.
Sequence 17: Hiccups and Cure (Draft No. 2) has quite a few differences in the draft, but not much in the way of deleted scenes. Scene 12 is a kind of deleted scene: after Dumbo has swallowed the alcohol-enhanced water, he lets out a hiccup, and the draft mentions a close-up of Timothy saying "OH, I GUESS YOU HAD ONE LITTLE ONE LEFT OVER." However, in the film he is off-screen when he says this.
Also, in scene 18, after Timothy emerges from the bucket, the draft has him say "GIGGLE WATER!", evidently in response to his own question about "WHAT KINDA WATER IS THIS ANYHOW?" The question is in the film but the answer isn't.
Mostly, though, we can see the opposite of deleted scenes - scenes which are in the film but not in the draft. I expect Mark Mayerson will cover this when he reaches this sequence in his mosaic.
Sequence 19.2 - Dumbo learns to fly (Final Draft)
Now, this one's a bit more complicated than the usual clean lifts. Thanks to Zartok-35 for first noticing it.
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29 CU - Dumbo's head. Crows flying around. Timothy jumps out of Dumbo's hat on to his trunk. Crows Laughing.
30 EXTREME CU - Timothy on Dumbo's trunk talks to him, kisses feather. "DUMBO! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT. NOW OUR TROUBLES ARE OVER. HO-HO!" To crows off-stage: "YOU BOYS KEEP THIS UNDER YOUR HATS. MUM'S DA WOID."
31 CU - Crows on top of Dumbo's head: "SHO' NUFF, BOY." "WE DON'T GONNA TALK." "NOT TO NOBODY." "MUM'S DE WOID."
32 CU - Two crows on top of Dumbo's head. Crow with deep voice: "MUM'S DE WOID."
33 CU - Timothy on Dumbo's trunk, says "WAIT'LL WE GET TO THE BIG TOWN."
____
As Zartok mentioned, a close-up of J.C. was added after this, saying "BOY, THEM CITY FOLKS IS SURE IN FOR A SU'PRISE!" This seems like a bit of a redundant addition: more something that would be taken out to condense dialogue (see story notes from The Reluctant Dragon) than added. In the next sequence, Timothy says basically the same thing - in both the draft and the film.
Or maybe they really needed to hammer it in that flying elephants are supposed to be surpising, in a world where storks literally deliver babies! Then again, we have just had a whole song about how unusual a flying elephant would be.
But a couple of other things, too. I'm not sure if I'd describe scene 29 as a close-up of Dumbo's head, also, it contains Timothy's "I knew you could do it!" line that the draft places in the next shot. I guess they didn't want to lose that line even though they were cutting the scene where it appeared. It seems a surprising number of differences for a so-called "Final" draft.
Sequence 20 - Big town, Dumbo triumphs (Draft No. 2)
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3 LS - Burning building. Old Woman Clown running back and forth, yelling, "POOR BABY, OOH, OH."
4 CU - Old Lady Clown yelling, "SAVE MY CHE-ILD."
5 MS - Fire truck enters and throws clowns.
6 MS - Firemen land and run in confusion.
8.1 Clowns grab net - They all fall down.
9 Fireman cranks group of firemen up ladder.
10 Firemen on ladder come up into scene. Ladder out. Firemen fall out of scene.
18 MS - Four Firemen run in with net yelling: "JUMP, COME ON, JUMP."
____
It seems that originally this sequence was going to have a build-up to Dumbo's leap as big as the one in the earlier "Fireman Sace My Child" sequence, with several scenes of clowns fooling around as before. In addition to those actually included in the draft, there are also mentions of scenes 2, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14 and 16 as "No Scene" and 8, 15 and 17 as "Out of Picture". The difference in terminology might refer to different dates when these scenes were removed. At any rate, it appears that they gradually cut more and more of the build-up and eventually decided to just lose the whole thing and "cut to the chase".
Also, from the end of the sequence:
____
62 CU - Timothy in hat says, "THAT'S THE STUFF, NOW THE VERTICAL FLIP-FLOP."
51 LS - Dumbo weaves through tent poles and zooms out at upper left.
64.1 Dumbo's shadow on tent top. Timothy says, "YOU'RE MAKING HISTORY!"
____
Now, as you can see, this is another more complicated cut -- it seems that the visual from scene 62 was used to end the sequence, but with Timothy's dialogue from scene 64.1. Also notice the numbering - quite a few shots in this sequence have been rearranged, as noted on the draft - similar to the "Fireman Save My Child" sequence. The draft we have is of the sequence as a work in progress, after they had started and before they had finished rearranging and removing scenes.
Well, that's it for deleted scenes. But the realms of "what could have been" extend further, with Michael Sporn posting some fascinating early storyboards on his blog last month, many of which are of unused story concepts. I'll take a closer look at them in a later post.
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
Sunday, 13 June 2010
Dumbo Deleted Scenes - Part 3
As before, these are transcriptions from the draft posted on Hans Perk's A. Film L.A. blog - material that was deleted from the film is put in italics, the rest is included for the sake of context.
Sequence 12: Gossips disown Dumbo (Draft No. 1)
This missing section includes a few more shots of the "gossip" elephants speculating about what happened to Dumbo after the Pyramid Act disaster. You'll also notice if you look at the draft that the sequence begins with scene 13, and the note: "Scenes 1 through 12 inclusive are out". Either the sequence was originally longer and the beginning was taken out before they even reached draft stage, or scenes 1-12 were an earlier version of the whole sequence, which was later discarded and replaced by the version described in the draft.
___
15 CU - Catty with block of ice on head - "OH, THAT WONT BE NECESSARY, DEARIE ... THEY'VE FIXED HIM GOOD!"
16 MCU - Matriarch and two elephants. Matriarch: "WHAT DID THEY DO?" Ella: "DID THEY BEAT HIM?"
17 CU - Prissy: "DID THEY THROW HIM IN THE... AH... CLINK?"
18 CU - Giggles (hopefully) "DID THEY SHOOT HIM?" (Giggles)
19 CU - Catty: "OH, A LOT WORSE THAN THAT, MY DEARS!"
20 CU - Matriarch. Catty, o.s.: Continues: "HE'D BE BETTER OFF DEAD." Ad lib chatter: "GO ON, TELL US, TELL US!" Matriarch, angry: "I DEMAND TO KNOW!"
21 CU - Catty: "WELL, THEY'VE GONE AND.." She pushes ice back into place with trunk "..MADE HIM...OH DEAR, I JUST CAN'T SAY IT!" Matriarch, o.s.: "OUT WITH IT!" Catty "....MADE HIM A CLOWN!"
___
It's strange to hear one of the "gossip" elephants use Timothy's term "clink" ... don't they have their own term for it? (The Ringmaster was going to call it "jail" in the "Menagerie" sequence, but that line was also cut)
I'm not sure why these lines were taken out. Maybe the "ad lib" nature of the "chatter" meant that they were just never recorded? Was the gleeful "did they shoot him" deemed a little too harsh? Did they think that it would be more reasonable for Dumbo to have been shot or locked up, and they didn't want to call attention to the unusual nature of his punishment?
Sequence 14: Fireman save my child (Draft No. 1)
Scenes were taken out and shuffled around both before and after this first draft was typed up.
As we can see by the scene numbers as well as additional notes, scenes 2, 7, 14, 20 and 25 have already been taken out, and scene 12 has been moved to follow scene 22. Then, some time after the draft was written, scenes 18 and 21 were taken out, and 19 moved to between 16 and 17.
___
16 MS - Clown running in with sprinkler to flower box. Cocoanut [sic] tree springs out of flower box.
17 Two-shot. Big clown runs in with little clown who has barrel on back - takes out eye dropper and puts one drop of water on fire.
18 Two-shot. Old woman screaming - mouth wide open. Clown comes in with atomizer and sprays mouth.
19 LS - Firemen running up ladder to burning house and throwing water in Dumbo's face.
21 MS - Eskimo clown runs up to fire and warms [rear end].
22 MS - Dumbo in midst of smoke. Fireman climbs up and fans him.
___
With a bit of detective work we can also speculate that, before the draft was written, some scenes were added to give Dumbo more of a presence in this sequence, which otherwise might lose him amid all the clowning. A reaction shot of Dumbo is numbered 12.1, and scenes showing the effect of pouring gasoline on the fire, including another reaction shot of Dumbo, are 26.1 and 26.2. These numbers suggest these were late additions to the sequence. It may be that the rearranging of the other scenes was also to make sure that the audience didn't lose sight of Dumbo for two long at a time. I'm reminded of the Battle of Helm's Deep in the film version of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, where they made sure that one of the main characters was on-screen for at least every third shot, so the audience had a focus.
As for the missing scenes themselves: I'm not sure who "old woman" in scene 18 refers to, although I guess it would have to be the clown dressed up as the elephant woman. Presumably "atomizer" means a breath freshener... I guess the gag was taken out because it's almost identical to scene 12 where a clown does the same thing with water from a flower, but a little less "clown-like." The "eskimo clown" from the deleted scene 21 doesn't appear at any other point in the sequence, and I'm curious as to what he would look like, and how late he was removed from the film. Then again, the "captain" from scene 12 doesn't seem to appear in any other shots either (notice the blue coat and epaulettes).
Sequence 12: Gossips disown Dumbo (Draft No. 1)
This missing section includes a few more shots of the "gossip" elephants speculating about what happened to Dumbo after the Pyramid Act disaster. You'll also notice if you look at the draft that the sequence begins with scene 13, and the note: "Scenes 1 through 12 inclusive are out". Either the sequence was originally longer and the beginning was taken out before they even reached draft stage, or scenes 1-12 were an earlier version of the whole sequence, which was later discarded and replaced by the version described in the draft.
___
15 CU - Catty with block of ice on head - "OH, THAT WONT BE NECESSARY, DEARIE ... THEY'VE FIXED HIM GOOD!"
16 MCU - Matriarch and two elephants. Matriarch: "WHAT DID THEY DO?" Ella: "DID THEY BEAT HIM?"
17 CU - Prissy: "DID THEY THROW HIM IN THE... AH... CLINK?"
18 CU - Giggles (hopefully) "DID THEY SHOOT HIM?" (Giggles)
19 CU - Catty: "OH, A LOT WORSE THAN THAT, MY DEARS!"
20 CU - Matriarch. Catty, o.s.: Continues: "HE'D BE BETTER OFF DEAD." Ad lib chatter: "GO ON, TELL US, TELL US!" Matriarch, angry: "I DEMAND TO KNOW!"
21 CU - Catty: "WELL, THEY'VE GONE AND.." She pushes ice back into place with trunk "..MADE HIM...OH DEAR, I JUST CAN'T SAY IT!" Matriarch, o.s.: "OUT WITH IT!" Catty "....MADE HIM A CLOWN!"
___
It's strange to hear one of the "gossip" elephants use Timothy's term "clink" ... don't they have their own term for it? (The Ringmaster was going to call it "jail" in the "Menagerie" sequence, but that line was also cut)
I'm not sure why these lines were taken out. Maybe the "ad lib" nature of the "chatter" meant that they were just never recorded? Was the gleeful "did they shoot him" deemed a little too harsh? Did they think that it would be more reasonable for Dumbo to have been shot or locked up, and they didn't want to call attention to the unusual nature of his punishment?
Sequence 14: Fireman save my child (Draft No. 1)
Scenes were taken out and shuffled around both before and after this first draft was typed up.
As we can see by the scene numbers as well as additional notes, scenes 2, 7, 14, 20 and 25 have already been taken out, and scene 12 has been moved to follow scene 22. Then, some time after the draft was written, scenes 18 and 21 were taken out, and 19 moved to between 16 and 17.
___
16 MS - Clown running in with sprinkler to flower box. Cocoanut [sic] tree springs out of flower box.
17 Two-shot. Big clown runs in with little clown who has barrel on back - takes out eye dropper and puts one drop of water on fire.
18 Two-shot. Old woman screaming - mouth wide open. Clown comes in with atomizer and sprays mouth.
19 LS - Firemen running up ladder to burning house and throwing water in Dumbo's face.
21 MS - Eskimo clown runs up to fire and warms [rear end].
22 MS - Dumbo in midst of smoke. Fireman climbs up and fans him.
___
With a bit of detective work we can also speculate that, before the draft was written, some scenes were added to give Dumbo more of a presence in this sequence, which otherwise might lose him amid all the clowning. A reaction shot of Dumbo is numbered 12.1, and scenes showing the effect of pouring gasoline on the fire, including another reaction shot of Dumbo, are 26.1 and 26.2. These numbers suggest these were late additions to the sequence. It may be that the rearranging of the other scenes was also to make sure that the audience didn't lose sight of Dumbo for two long at a time. I'm reminded of the Battle of Helm's Deep in the film version of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, where they made sure that one of the main characters was on-screen for at least every third shot, so the audience had a focus.
As for the missing scenes themselves: I'm not sure who "old woman" in scene 18 refers to, although I guess it would have to be the clown dressed up as the elephant woman. Presumably "atomizer" means a breath freshener... I guess the gag was taken out because it's almost identical to scene 12 where a clown does the same thing with water from a flower, but a little less "clown-like." The "eskimo clown" from the deleted scene 21 doesn't appear at any other point in the sequence, and I'm curious as to what he would look like, and how late he was removed from the film. Then again, the "captain" from scene 12 doesn't seem to appear in any other shots either (notice the blue coat and epaulettes).
Friday, 4 June 2010
Dumbo Deleted Scenes - Part 2
It occurs to me I should have listed what the draft number has been for each sequence. I have therefore edited the previous posts to include this information.
Sequence 10: Ringmaster's Idea for Pyramid Act (Draft No. 2)
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1 MLS - truck to MCU - Shadows of Ringmaster and Joe appear against side of tent. Ringmaster says: "WHAT AN IDEA! YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT MAKES ME..."
3 MCU - Tim and Dumbo watching Ringmaster. o.s. Ringmaster: "SO SMART!" Tim talks over his shoulder to Dumbo: "HUH! HE NEVER HAD AN IDEA IN HIS LIFE -" Ringmaster continues: "JUST VISUALISE..."
4 MCU - Shadows of Ringmaster and Joe. Ringmaster tosses coat - Joe catches it. Ringmaster, excited, continues: "IN THE RING STAND SEVENTEEN ELEPHANTS!"
4.1 MCU - Shadow of Joe - "hangs up" coat, missing pet [?] and allowing coat to fall on floor. Ringmaster o.s. continues "ONE ELEPHANT CLIMBS ON TOP OF ANOTHER ELEPHANT UNTIL..."
5 CU - Ringmaster wriggles out of pants, kicks them up in the air and catches them, as he says: "...FINALLY ALL SEVENTEEN ELEPHANTS HAVE CONSTRUCTED AN ENORMOUS PYRAMID..."
6 CU - Joe's shadow. Ringmaster, o.s., continues "...OF PACHYDERMS!" Joe, puzzled, scratches his head - asks: "WHAT'S A PACHYDERM, BOSS?"
7 MCU - Shadow of Ringmaster - Tosses pants to Joe, o.s., as he says "THAT'S AN ELEPHANT, STUPID. HANG UP MY PANTS!"
8 CU - Joe's shadow - He catches pants, hangs them up as he says "GEE, BOSS, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU THINK 'EM UP!" Ringmaster, o.s.: "THAT'S NOTHING!"
11 CU - Shadow of Ringmaster wriggling into nightshirt - continues: "THERE STANDS THE PYRAMID OF ELEPHANTS..." Arms shoot up thru sleeves - "I STEP OUT!" Head pops thru neck of shirt - "I BLOW THE WHISTLE!"
12 CU - Tim on tent-peg - Ringmaster continues... "THE TRUMPETERS ARE TRUMPETING - THE DRUMS ARE DRUMMING -" Tim stands up to listen. Ringmaster, o.s., very excited continues "...AND NOW..."
14 MCU - Shadows of Joe and Ringmaster. Ringmaster continues: "...COMES THE CLIMAX!" Joe: "YEAH... WHAT IS THE CLIMAX?" Ringmaster: "I DON'T KNOW"
16 CU - Tim. Ringmaster, o.s. "...DOT'S CHUST VOT I DON'T KNOW." Tim relaxes into disappointed expression - says: "I KNEW HE NEVER HAD NOTHIN' ... BUT STILL I WAS HOPIN'."
17 MCU - Shadow of Ringmaster - "WELL, MAYBE IT COMES TO ME IN A VISION WHILE I DREAM. GOODNIGHT, JOE." Climbs into bed. Joe, o.s. "GOODNIGHT, BOSS."
___
The main thing from this draft section that isn't in the final film is the Ringmaster explaining to Joe what a pachyderm is. I'm glad they took this out - it just feels like the storymen are calling attention to the fact that they know a word which they think the "average Joe" doesn't. Anyway, we already know that the Ringmaster is talking about a pyramid of elephants, so the audience should know what he means, even if they've never heard the word "pachyderm" before. I do think that the Ringmaster ordering Joe to hang up his clothes is funny though, just after insulting him.
Notice that one of the Ringmaster's deleted lines is written in a thicker German accent than the rest of the dialogue. I'm not sure why that is, although even in the final film he starts to sound more Germanic as he falls asleep.
Also noteworthy is that Timothy's line about "hopin'" the Ringmaster had an idea was cut. I'm not sure why he would hope this: it hasn't occured to him yet that this could be Dumbo's chance to shine. I guess Timothy himself sort of makes a living from the circus and wants it to be successful.
Notice that although the film does not retain the Ringmaster's full description of the pyramid act, he still says "seventeen" elephants will perform rather than the seven who do (or eight in the opening shot, for some reason).
Sequence 11: Pyramid Act (Draft No. 3)
Not really a deleted scene, but an alternative version of a line, at the start where the Ringmaster is announcing his act.
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3.2 CU - Rearview of Ringmaster: ...PYRAMID OF PROUD, PONDEROUS, PULSATING.....
3.3 CU - Ringmaster:...PULCHRITUDINOUS PACHY. PACHY.....I GIVE YOU THE ELEPHANTS!
___
It appears that the Ringmaster struggles over the word "pachyderm" and gives up. In the film he has no such problem with the word. Once again, the film differs from the draft in that it does not make such a big deal about the word "pachyderm" - the film-makers aren't trying to call attention to their vocabulary.
Sequence 10: Ringmaster's Idea for Pyramid Act (Draft No. 2)
___
1 MLS - truck to MCU - Shadows of Ringmaster and Joe appear against side of tent. Ringmaster says: "WHAT AN IDEA! YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT MAKES ME..."
3 MCU - Tim and Dumbo watching Ringmaster. o.s. Ringmaster: "SO SMART!" Tim talks over his shoulder to Dumbo: "HUH! HE NEVER HAD AN IDEA IN HIS LIFE -" Ringmaster continues: "JUST VISUALISE..."
4 MCU - Shadows of Ringmaster and Joe. Ringmaster tosses coat - Joe catches it. Ringmaster, excited, continues: "IN THE RING STAND SEVENTEEN ELEPHANTS!"
4.1 MCU - Shadow of Joe - "hangs up" coat, missing pet [?] and allowing coat to fall on floor. Ringmaster o.s. continues "ONE ELEPHANT CLIMBS ON TOP OF ANOTHER ELEPHANT UNTIL..."
5 CU - Ringmaster wriggles out of pants, kicks them up in the air and catches them, as he says: "...FINALLY ALL SEVENTEEN ELEPHANTS HAVE CONSTRUCTED AN ENORMOUS PYRAMID..."
6 CU - Joe's shadow. Ringmaster, o.s., continues "...OF PACHYDERMS!" Joe, puzzled, scratches his head - asks: "WHAT'S A PACHYDERM, BOSS?"
7 MCU - Shadow of Ringmaster - Tosses pants to Joe, o.s., as he says "THAT'S AN ELEPHANT, STUPID. HANG UP MY PANTS!"
8 CU - Joe's shadow - He catches pants, hangs them up as he says "GEE, BOSS, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU THINK 'EM UP!" Ringmaster, o.s.: "THAT'S NOTHING!"
11 CU - Shadow of Ringmaster wriggling into nightshirt - continues: "THERE STANDS THE PYRAMID OF ELEPHANTS..." Arms shoot up thru sleeves - "I STEP OUT!" Head pops thru neck of shirt - "I BLOW THE WHISTLE!"
12 CU - Tim on tent-peg - Ringmaster continues... "THE TRUMPETERS ARE TRUMPETING - THE DRUMS ARE DRUMMING -" Tim stands up to listen. Ringmaster, o.s., very excited continues "...AND NOW..."
14 MCU - Shadows of Joe and Ringmaster. Ringmaster continues: "...COMES THE CLIMAX!" Joe: "YEAH... WHAT IS THE CLIMAX?" Ringmaster: "I DON'T KNOW"
16 CU - Tim. Ringmaster, o.s. "...DOT'S CHUST VOT I DON'T KNOW." Tim relaxes into disappointed expression - says: "I KNEW HE NEVER HAD NOTHIN' ... BUT STILL I WAS HOPIN'."
17 MCU - Shadow of Ringmaster - "WELL, MAYBE IT COMES TO ME IN A VISION WHILE I DREAM. GOODNIGHT, JOE." Climbs into bed. Joe, o.s. "GOODNIGHT, BOSS."
___
The main thing from this draft section that isn't in the final film is the Ringmaster explaining to Joe what a pachyderm is. I'm glad they took this out - it just feels like the storymen are calling attention to the fact that they know a word which they think the "average Joe" doesn't. Anyway, we already know that the Ringmaster is talking about a pyramid of elephants, so the audience should know what he means, even if they've never heard the word "pachyderm" before. I do think that the Ringmaster ordering Joe to hang up his clothes is funny though, just after insulting him.
Notice that one of the Ringmaster's deleted lines is written in a thicker German accent than the rest of the dialogue. I'm not sure why that is, although even in the final film he starts to sound more Germanic as he falls asleep.
Also noteworthy is that Timothy's line about "hopin'" the Ringmaster had an idea was cut. I'm not sure why he would hope this: it hasn't occured to him yet that this could be Dumbo's chance to shine. I guess Timothy himself sort of makes a living from the circus and wants it to be successful.
Notice that although the film does not retain the Ringmaster's full description of the pyramid act, he still says "seventeen" elephants will perform rather than the seven who do (or eight in the opening shot, for some reason).
Sequence 11: Pyramid Act (Draft No. 3)
Not really a deleted scene, but an alternative version of a line, at the start where the Ringmaster is announcing his act.
___
3.2 CU - Rearview of Ringmaster: ...PYRAMID OF PROUD, PONDEROUS, PULSATING.....
3.3 CU - Ringmaster:...PULCHRITUDINOUS PACHY. PACHY.....I GIVE YOU THE ELEPHANTS!
___
It appears that the Ringmaster struggles over the word "pachyderm" and gives up. In the film he has no such problem with the word. Once again, the film differs from the draft in that it does not make such a big deal about the word "pachyderm" - the film-makers aren't trying to call attention to their vocabulary.
Sunday, 30 May 2010
Dumbo Deleted Scenes - Part 0
(edited 4th June 2010 - see "Dumbo Deleted Scenes - Part 2")
OK, in the rush to get that first post out, I missed out a couple of things - nothing really major though, and the first one isn't really a deleted scene, because more changes seem to have been made than just removing some footage.
Ain't that just like me to forget?
(Once again, deleted material goes in italics)
From sequence 5 "Circus Parade" (Draft No. 1)
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13 - Dumbo's mother pans through - Dumbo holding onto her tail. Dumbo runs underneath mother. She goes out, leaving Dumbo in the open.
14 - Mother looks back at Dumbo.
15 - Dumbo looks up, runs after mother and falls in mud.
16 - Rear view, parade going back toward tent. Dumbo runs in, trying to catch up with parade.
___
In the film, scenes 13 and 15 seem to have been run together. The important thing missing is the extra shot of Mrs Jumbo and the final rear view. I don't know what kind of expression Mrs Jumbo was supposed to have, but the fact that she just carries on ahead and leaves him to try to catch up seems uncharacteristically neglectful. When they finished putting the sequence together, it seems they decided to solve the problem of "What is Mrs Jumbo doing?" by ignoring it, and keeping Dumbo as the only character on screen. Having the final shot be of Dumbo fallen in the mud puddle with the crowds laughing once again keeps the focus on Dumbo's ears as the source of his misfortune. It also leads nicely into the following sequence, of Mrs Jumbo washing him.
In the "Elephants Gossip" (Draft No. 4) and "Timothy Befriends Dumbo" (Draft No. 4) sequences there are a few extra scenes/lines I didn't catch last time but nothing worth writing home about. In "Elephants Gossip", the line in scene 8 "Yes, but mother love doesn't have to be blind" seemed to become "...can hide a multitude of sins." Scene 14 and the accompanying line "I'll bet she's furious" were cut, as were a couple of shots where Timothy is frightening the elephants.
In scene 31 of "Timothy Befriends Dumbo" Timothy rejects one of his own (unmentioned) ideas with "Aw, no... that's old stuff..." before he overhears the Ringmaster coming up with an idea of his own. Unlike his deleted lines from earlier in the sequence, I can't think of much of an argument for keeping this one.
If anyone catches anything else on the draft that I should have caught bit didn't, please let me know!
OK, in the rush to get that first post out, I missed out a couple of things - nothing really major though, and the first one isn't really a deleted scene, because more changes seem to have been made than just removing some footage.
Ain't that just like me to forget?
(Once again, deleted material goes in italics)
From sequence 5 "Circus Parade" (Draft No. 1)
___
13 - Dumbo's mother pans through - Dumbo holding onto her tail. Dumbo runs underneath mother. She goes out, leaving Dumbo in the open.
14 - Mother looks back at Dumbo.
15 - Dumbo looks up, runs after mother and falls in mud.
16 - Rear view, parade going back toward tent. Dumbo runs in, trying to catch up with parade.
___
In the film, scenes 13 and 15 seem to have been run together. The important thing missing is the extra shot of Mrs Jumbo and the final rear view. I don't know what kind of expression Mrs Jumbo was supposed to have, but the fact that she just carries on ahead and leaves him to try to catch up seems uncharacteristically neglectful. When they finished putting the sequence together, it seems they decided to solve the problem of "What is Mrs Jumbo doing?" by ignoring it, and keeping Dumbo as the only character on screen. Having the final shot be of Dumbo fallen in the mud puddle with the crowds laughing once again keeps the focus on Dumbo's ears as the source of his misfortune. It also leads nicely into the following sequence, of Mrs Jumbo washing him.
In the "Elephants Gossip" (Draft No. 4) and "Timothy Befriends Dumbo" (Draft No. 4) sequences there are a few extra scenes/lines I didn't catch last time but nothing worth writing home about. In "Elephants Gossip", the line in scene 8 "Yes, but mother love doesn't have to be blind" seemed to become "...can hide a multitude of sins." Scene 14 and the accompanying line "I'll bet she's furious" were cut, as were a couple of shots where Timothy is frightening the elephants.
In scene 31 of "Timothy Befriends Dumbo" Timothy rejects one of his own (unmentioned) ideas with "Aw, no... that's old stuff..." before he overhears the Ringmaster coming up with an idea of his own. Unlike his deleted lines from earlier in the sequence, I can't think of much of an argument for keeping this one.
If anyone catches anything else on the draft that I should have caught bit didn't, please let me know!
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Dumbo Deleted Scenes - Part 1
(edited 4th June 2010 - see "Dumbo Deleted Scenes - Part 2")
It's a good time to be a fan of Walt Disney's Dumbo and animation history. Hans Perk has just posted up a(n almost) complete animation draft, which Mark Mayerson is currently using as a basis for one of his celebrated mosaics. Also, as in the Pinocchio craze of '07, Michael Sporn is getting into the act by posting up some production drawings (including Bill Peet's bathing storyboard briefly glimpsed in the extra features on the 101 Dalmatians DVD).
The draft Hans posted isn't a final version - some scenes are uncredited on it, and some were cut from the film. It's these "deleted scenes" which I'm going to look at over two or three posts, starting with this one. The way I will do this is by transcribing the relevant parts of the draft and putting the deleted material in italics. Once again I would like to make it clear that what a draft calls a "scene" is what most people would think of as a "shot". I'll be using "scene" and "shot" fairly interchangeably here.
Probably the first material on the draft which was deleted from the film is in seq. 6.0 "Menagerie: Mrs Jumbo Goes Berserk". The relevant portion of the draft (Draft No. 2) is as follows:
45 - EXT CU - Mrs Jumbo's back legs - Skinnay reaches in between her legs - Pulls Dumbo out by the tail - Skinnay "C'MON OUT AND PLAY, LOP-EARS" Dumbo looks at Skinnay. Kids o.s. "MAKE A SAIL-BOAT OUT OF HIM!" Skinnay blows in Dumbo's ear. Dumbo looks at his mother, o.s., for help. [i]Skinnay grabs Dumbo's ears, jumps on Dumbo's back, and starts "Roman chariot" riding act. Kids, o.s., start laughing.[/i]
46 - EXT CU - Mrs Jumbo, very alarmed at Skinnay's treatment of Dumbo.
47 - CU - Skinnay in Roman chariot act. Mrs Jumbo's trunk lifts Dumbo out from under Skinnay - Skinnay falls flat - Kids, o.s., laugh harder than ever.
48 - MCU - Mrs Jumbo puts Dumbo between her legs. Pan with Dumbo, and truck in, as he runs to camera left and peeks around Mrs Jumbo's other leg. Kids o.s. "THE BIGGEST SLING-SHOT IN THE WOILD!" Kid's hand reaches into scene - grabs Dumbo's ear - stretches it - Snaps it in Dumbo's face - Dumbo squeals, hurt.
49 - EXT CU - Mrs Jumbo, angry - reaches with trunk past camera. Kids' o.s. laughter changes to frightened yells.
50 - MCU - [Rear ends] and feet of kids scramming out of scene. Skinnay is grabbed by Mrs Jumbo's trunk, hung over rope and paddled. Skinnay: "HELP! MAMA!" Kids, o.s. "HELP! SHE'S MOIDERIN' SKINNAY!"
The main thing which didn't make it into the final cut was Skinnay's "Roman chariot act." Maybe this is an example of Walt's desire for restraint, as witnessed in his decisions for the mourning scenes in Snow White or the "Your mother can no longer be with you" scene from Bambi. Alternatively, it could be that there was no way to animate it convincingly. Perhaps most importantly, limiting Skinnay's torments to blowing into and snapping Dumbo's ears helps to keep the focus on the large ears - if he were to jump on top of the poor elephant and ride him like a chariot he'd be mocking him all right, but not mocking the size of his ears.
A few more scenes were cut from this sequence.
53 - CU - Ringmaster cracks whip - yells: "DOWN, MRS JUMBO!"
54 - EXT. CU - Mrs Jumbo dodges whip.
54.1 - CU - Ringmaster. Cracks whip again. Turns to yell: "CALL THE RIOT SQUAD!" etc.
55 - MCU - Five or six roustabouts run in thru curtains, carrying pipes, ropes, etc., shouting. Ringmaster, o.s. yells "KELLY! RIOT SQUAD!" etc.
56 - MCU - More roustabouts run into sideshow thru side-door.
57 - CU - Ringmaster yelling "GET THE CHAINS! SURROUND HER!" Cracks whip at Mrs Jumbo, o.s. Roustabouts swarm into scene, hiding Ringmaster from view.
These cuts were probably made to quicken the pace of the scene - the film no longer contains a reference to the "riot squad". Note the odd reference to "Kelly", addressed by the Ringmaster. The animator of these scenes was named Walt Kelly - was this unseen character named after the animator, or did the typist just make a mistake?
Finally, the last shot in the draft for this sequence includes an additional line for the Ringmaster.
74 - CU - Mrs Jumbo's water tub (same tub Dumbo was bathed in at start of sequence) Ringmaster is soused in tub. Stands up in tub, dripping wet, very mad. Yells: "TAKE HER AWAY! PUT HER IN JAIL!"
In the film, he just seethes. The line is unecessary as the next shot is of Mrs Jumbo in "jail", and cutting the line means that the audience experience a mood shift (from "relishing Mrs Jumbo's short-lived victory" to "sympathy for Mrs Jumbo's plight") at the start of a sequence, rather than a few seconds before the end of one.
The draft (Draft No. 4) for seq. 9.0 "Timothy befriends Dumbo" contains some missing dialogue for Timothy.
19 - CU - Dumbo looks doubtfully at one ear, wiggles it, then becomes very proud, smiles, looks at other, wiggles it. Tim, o.s.: "YA KNOW, LOTS OF PEOPLE WITH BIG EARS ARE FAMOUS." Dumbo reacts to "famous," looks down at Tim, o.s.
19.1 - CU Dumbo, draws his head back in surprise as Tim runs up Dumbo's trunk. Tim says "FAMOUS. NOW, LOOK DUMBO..." Dumbo cross-eyed as he watches Tim. Tim: "IF YOU'RE FAMOUS, THEY DON'T MAKE FUN OF YA, YOUR MA DON'T GET SORE..." Dumbo's eyes uncross as he watches Tim. Tim turns suddenly to face Dumbo. Tim: "IF SHE DON'T GET SORE..." Tim runs back up the trunk to between Dumbo's eyes... "THEY LET HER OUTA JAIL 'N EVERYTHING'S OKAY!" Tim turns and starts towards end of trunk again. Dumbo's eyes uncross again as he watches Tim. Tim: "OH BOY! ALL WE GOTTA DO IS BUILD AN ACT!" Dumbo's eyes cross again quickly as Tim rushes back, taps Dumbo on the forehead as he says "...MAKE YOU A STAR!" Tim jumps up in the air as he says "A HEADLINER!" Dumbo's crossed eyes go up and down, following Tim. Tim runs toward the end of the trunk.
It's a good thing they took out the "If you're famous, they don't make fun of ya". While I'm sure there was much less celebrity mocking in 1941 than there is now, they still made fun of famous people. Heck, Timothy's previous line about big ears just goes to show that. Unfortunately, it also means there's not much of an explanation for why Timothy tries to make Dumbo famous, or what this has to do with his earlier offer to "help get your mother outa the clink." Maybe it was cut because someone in authority thought that too much spoken dialogue (well, monologue) was "boring" or something, but Timothy's logic is a little suspect... with Mrs Jumbo chained in a wagon, would she really get much of a chance to show she isn't "getting sore" at the treatment of her son?
I'll leave it here for now... if you're interested in finding out more about these or any other scenes from the film - such as who animated them, check out Hans' posts (although you can only see as far back as the May 2nd post, most of the others can be seen by looking for April 2010 posts), or, if you feel the need for the scenes to be identified visually, just keep an eye out for Mark Mayerson's marvelous, magnificent... I think I'm turning into the Ringmaster. I give you, the mosaics.
It's a good time to be a fan of Walt Disney's Dumbo and animation history. Hans Perk has just posted up a(n almost) complete animation draft, which Mark Mayerson is currently using as a basis for one of his celebrated mosaics. Also, as in the Pinocchio craze of '07, Michael Sporn is getting into the act by posting up some production drawings (including Bill Peet's bathing storyboard briefly glimpsed in the extra features on the 101 Dalmatians DVD).
The draft Hans posted isn't a final version - some scenes are uncredited on it, and some were cut from the film. It's these "deleted scenes" which I'm going to look at over two or three posts, starting with this one. The way I will do this is by transcribing the relevant parts of the draft and putting the deleted material in italics. Once again I would like to make it clear that what a draft calls a "scene" is what most people would think of as a "shot". I'll be using "scene" and "shot" fairly interchangeably here.
Probably the first material on the draft which was deleted from the film is in seq. 6.0 "Menagerie: Mrs Jumbo Goes Berserk". The relevant portion of the draft (Draft No. 2) is as follows:
45 - EXT CU - Mrs Jumbo's back legs - Skinnay reaches in between her legs - Pulls Dumbo out by the tail - Skinnay "C'MON OUT AND PLAY, LOP-EARS" Dumbo looks at Skinnay. Kids o.s. "MAKE A SAIL-BOAT OUT OF HIM!" Skinnay blows in Dumbo's ear. Dumbo looks at his mother, o.s., for help. [i]Skinnay grabs Dumbo's ears, jumps on Dumbo's back, and starts "Roman chariot" riding act. Kids, o.s., start laughing.[/i]
46 - EXT CU - Mrs Jumbo, very alarmed at Skinnay's treatment of Dumbo.
47 - CU - Skinnay in Roman chariot act. Mrs Jumbo's trunk lifts Dumbo out from under Skinnay - Skinnay falls flat - Kids, o.s., laugh harder than ever.
48 - MCU - Mrs Jumbo puts Dumbo between her legs. Pan with Dumbo, and truck in, as he runs to camera left and peeks around Mrs Jumbo's other leg. Kids o.s. "THE BIGGEST SLING-SHOT IN THE WOILD!" Kid's hand reaches into scene - grabs Dumbo's ear - stretches it - Snaps it in Dumbo's face - Dumbo squeals, hurt.
49 - EXT CU - Mrs Jumbo, angry - reaches with trunk past camera. Kids' o.s. laughter changes to frightened yells.
50 - MCU - [Rear ends] and feet of kids scramming out of scene. Skinnay is grabbed by Mrs Jumbo's trunk, hung over rope and paddled. Skinnay: "HELP! MAMA!" Kids, o.s. "HELP! SHE'S MOIDERIN' SKINNAY!"
The main thing which didn't make it into the final cut was Skinnay's "Roman chariot act." Maybe this is an example of Walt's desire for restraint, as witnessed in his decisions for the mourning scenes in Snow White or the "Your mother can no longer be with you" scene from Bambi. Alternatively, it could be that there was no way to animate it convincingly. Perhaps most importantly, limiting Skinnay's torments to blowing into and snapping Dumbo's ears helps to keep the focus on the large ears - if he were to jump on top of the poor elephant and ride him like a chariot he'd be mocking him all right, but not mocking the size of his ears.
A few more scenes were cut from this sequence.
53 - CU - Ringmaster cracks whip - yells: "DOWN, MRS JUMBO!"
54 - EXT. CU - Mrs Jumbo dodges whip.
54.1 - CU - Ringmaster. Cracks whip again. Turns to yell: "CALL THE RIOT SQUAD!" etc.
55 - MCU - Five or six roustabouts run in thru curtains, carrying pipes, ropes, etc., shouting. Ringmaster, o.s. yells "KELLY! RIOT SQUAD!" etc.
56 - MCU - More roustabouts run into sideshow thru side-door.
57 - CU - Ringmaster yelling "GET THE CHAINS! SURROUND HER!" Cracks whip at Mrs Jumbo, o.s. Roustabouts swarm into scene, hiding Ringmaster from view.
These cuts were probably made to quicken the pace of the scene - the film no longer contains a reference to the "riot squad". Note the odd reference to "Kelly", addressed by the Ringmaster. The animator of these scenes was named Walt Kelly - was this unseen character named after the animator, or did the typist just make a mistake?
Finally, the last shot in the draft for this sequence includes an additional line for the Ringmaster.
74 - CU - Mrs Jumbo's water tub (same tub Dumbo was bathed in at start of sequence) Ringmaster is soused in tub. Stands up in tub, dripping wet, very mad. Yells: "TAKE HER AWAY! PUT HER IN JAIL!"
In the film, he just seethes. The line is unecessary as the next shot is of Mrs Jumbo in "jail", and cutting the line means that the audience experience a mood shift (from "relishing Mrs Jumbo's short-lived victory" to "sympathy for Mrs Jumbo's plight") at the start of a sequence, rather than a few seconds before the end of one.
The draft (Draft No. 4) for seq. 9.0 "Timothy befriends Dumbo" contains some missing dialogue for Timothy.
19 - CU - Dumbo looks doubtfully at one ear, wiggles it, then becomes very proud, smiles, looks at other, wiggles it. Tim, o.s.: "YA KNOW, LOTS OF PEOPLE WITH BIG EARS ARE FAMOUS." Dumbo reacts to "famous," looks down at Tim, o.s.
19.1 - CU Dumbo, draws his head back in surprise as Tim runs up Dumbo's trunk. Tim says "FAMOUS. NOW, LOOK DUMBO..." Dumbo cross-eyed as he watches Tim. Tim: "IF YOU'RE FAMOUS, THEY DON'T MAKE FUN OF YA, YOUR MA DON'T GET SORE..." Dumbo's eyes uncross as he watches Tim. Tim turns suddenly to face Dumbo. Tim: "IF SHE DON'T GET SORE..." Tim runs back up the trunk to between Dumbo's eyes... "THEY LET HER OUTA JAIL 'N EVERYTHING'S OKAY!" Tim turns and starts towards end of trunk again. Dumbo's eyes uncross again as he watches Tim. Tim: "OH BOY! ALL WE GOTTA DO IS BUILD AN ACT!" Dumbo's eyes cross again quickly as Tim rushes back, taps Dumbo on the forehead as he says "...MAKE YOU A STAR!" Tim jumps up in the air as he says "A HEADLINER!" Dumbo's crossed eyes go up and down, following Tim. Tim runs toward the end of the trunk.
It's a good thing they took out the "If you're famous, they don't make fun of ya". While I'm sure there was much less celebrity mocking in 1941 than there is now, they still made fun of famous people. Heck, Timothy's previous line about big ears just goes to show that. Unfortunately, it also means there's not much of an explanation for why Timothy tries to make Dumbo famous, or what this has to do with his earlier offer to "help get your mother outa the clink." Maybe it was cut because someone in authority thought that too much spoken dialogue (well, monologue) was "boring" or something, but Timothy's logic is a little suspect... with Mrs Jumbo chained in a wagon, would she really get much of a chance to show she isn't "getting sore" at the treatment of her son?
I'll leave it here for now... if you're interested in finding out more about these or any other scenes from the film - such as who animated them, check out Hans' posts (although you can only see as far back as the May 2nd post, most of the others can be seen by looking for April 2010 posts), or, if you feel the need for the scenes to be identified visually, just keep an eye out for Mark Mayerson's marvelous, magnificent... I think I'm turning into the Ringmaster. I give you, the mosaics.
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
No-one... but Donald Duck!
When I was a kid I got a set of three videos with Disney shorts on them. They were:
Celebrate With Mickey
Mickey's Circus - starring Mickey and Donald
Foul Hunting - starring Goofy
Beach Picnic - starring Donald and Pluto
Mickey's Birthday Party - starring Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and others
Wide Open Spaces - starring Donald
Man's Best Friend - starring Goofy
Donald's Birthday Bash
Donald's Happy Birthday - starring Donald
Contrary Condor - starring Donald
Crazy Over Daisy - starring Donald
The Eyes Have It - starring Donald and Pluto
The Flying Squirrel - starring Donald
Wet Paint - starring Donald
Clown Of The Jungle - starring Donald
Frontier Pluto
R'Coon Dawg - starring Mickey and Pluto
Flying Jalopy - starring Donald
Pluto's Playmate - starring Pluto
Moose Hunters - starring Mickey, Donald and Goofy
Donald's Nephews - starring Donald
T-Bone For Two - starring Pluto
Notice something here? (Besides the fact that you'd think they'd have a trio of videos named after Mickey, Donald and Goofy, rather than Pluto)
Mickey appears in
Celebrate With Mickey - 2 (co-starring with Donald and Goofy)
Donald's Birthday Bash - 0
Frontier Pluto - 2 (one co-starring with Pluto, one co-starring with Donald and Goofy)
...and by "co-starring with" you can pretty much read "upstaged by".
Pluto appears in
Celebrate with Mickey - 1 (co-starring with Donald)
Donald's Happy Birthday - 1 (co-starring with Donald)
Frontier Pluto - 3 (including one co-starring with Mickey)
Donald, on the other hand, appears in
Celebrate With Mickey - 4 (three with co-stars, one solo)
Donald's Birthday Bash - all of them (including one co-starring with Pluto)
Frontier Pluto - 3 (including one co-starring Mickey and Goofy)
Not only is Donald the only one to appear in all the cartoons on his own video, but he generally appears in more cartoons in the other videos than their supposed stars. AND his video has more cartoons on it than the other two.
I guess that's what people want. Donald by the barrelfull.
Celebrate With Mickey
Mickey's Circus - starring Mickey and Donald
Foul Hunting - starring Goofy
Beach Picnic - starring Donald and Pluto
Mickey's Birthday Party - starring Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and others
Wide Open Spaces - starring Donald
Man's Best Friend - starring Goofy
Donald's Birthday Bash
Donald's Happy Birthday - starring Donald
Contrary Condor - starring Donald
Crazy Over Daisy - starring Donald
The Eyes Have It - starring Donald and Pluto
The Flying Squirrel - starring Donald
Wet Paint - starring Donald
Clown Of The Jungle - starring Donald
Frontier Pluto
R'Coon Dawg - starring Mickey and Pluto
Flying Jalopy - starring Donald
Pluto's Playmate - starring Pluto
Moose Hunters - starring Mickey, Donald and Goofy
Donald's Nephews - starring Donald
T-Bone For Two - starring Pluto
Notice something here? (Besides the fact that you'd think they'd have a trio of videos named after Mickey, Donald and Goofy, rather than Pluto)
Mickey appears in
Celebrate With Mickey - 2 (co-starring with Donald and Goofy)
Donald's Birthday Bash - 0
Frontier Pluto - 2 (one co-starring with Pluto, one co-starring with Donald and Goofy)
...and by "co-starring with" you can pretty much read "upstaged by".
Pluto appears in
Celebrate with Mickey - 1 (co-starring with Donald)
Donald's Happy Birthday - 1 (co-starring with Donald)
Frontier Pluto - 3 (including one co-starring with Mickey)
Donald, on the other hand, appears in
Celebrate With Mickey - 4 (three with co-stars, one solo)
Donald's Birthday Bash - all of them (including one co-starring with Pluto)
Frontier Pluto - 3 (including one co-starring Mickey and Goofy)
Not only is Donald the only one to appear in all the cartoons on his own video, but he generally appears in more cartoons in the other videos than their supposed stars. AND his video has more cartoons on it than the other two.
I guess that's what people want. Donald by the barrelfull.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Fridge brilliance and Donald's Lucky Day (Disney, 1939)
The TV Tropes website defines fridge brilliance as a circumstance where your reaction to something you read, watch or listen to is one of confusion and annoyance, but which, at some unspecified point later (proverbially, when you are just going about your life, opening a fridge to get out some food or drink) makes you go "A-ha! NOW I get it!"
Hans Perk posted the animator drafts for the cartoon "Donald's Lucky Day" in August 2006. The following month, Mark Mayerson posted a mosaic of the short, a critique of the story and some thoughts on the animators. It's the critique of the story which I'm mainly interested here, I just provided the other links for background info.
Some of Mayerson's critiisms are deserved: for example, the cat just disappears after the bomb goes off, and the fish are eaten by a smarm of anonymous cats rather than the one who's been appearing throughout the cartoon, which isn't a very satisfying ending. (Actually, it suggests the poor cat was blown up or drowned, which probably wasn't their intention) It would have been better if it had ended with the "hero" cat chowing down on fish, and Donald doing one of his end-of-cartoon "aw, shucks" type chuckles.
However, another of his comments is that Donald "would have been luckier if he lost the package immediately and saved himself a lot of effort." However, this would be impossible, because... it was still Friday 13th! The bomb is supposed to go off at 12 o'clock, right? So, up until that happens, it's Friday 13th and Donald is having an unlucky day. After the bomb goes off, it's now Saturday 14th. Donald exclaims "This is my lucky day!" meaning the new day that's just started. In fact, in the opening scene with the gangsters, they refer to the bomb as a "valentine", so they're thinking of it as going off at the start of the 14th (February, that is) as well.
OK, I don't know if that's what the intention of the writers/animators was. If it was, I guess the main problem is that they didn't make it clear enough. So, here's my revised ending:
Donald gets covered in fish. He hears on the radio something like: "When you hear the sound of the tone, the time will be 12 o'clock, midnight. That's the end of Friday 13th. Did you all make it?" Donald, overjoyed: "Oh boy! This is my lucky day!" Then the cat emerges out of his hat, gobbles down a fish, and rubs against Donald's face. Donald chuckles awkwardly. End.
Hans Perk posted the animator drafts for the cartoon "Donald's Lucky Day" in August 2006. The following month, Mark Mayerson posted a mosaic of the short, a critique of the story and some thoughts on the animators. It's the critique of the story which I'm mainly interested here, I just provided the other links for background info.
Some of Mayerson's critiisms are deserved: for example, the cat just disappears after the bomb goes off, and the fish are eaten by a smarm of anonymous cats rather than the one who's been appearing throughout the cartoon, which isn't a very satisfying ending. (Actually, it suggests the poor cat was blown up or drowned, which probably wasn't their intention) It would have been better if it had ended with the "hero" cat chowing down on fish, and Donald doing one of his end-of-cartoon "aw, shucks" type chuckles.
However, another of his comments is that Donald "would have been luckier if he lost the package immediately and saved himself a lot of effort." However, this would be impossible, because... it was still Friday 13th! The bomb is supposed to go off at 12 o'clock, right? So, up until that happens, it's Friday 13th and Donald is having an unlucky day. After the bomb goes off, it's now Saturday 14th. Donald exclaims "This is my lucky day!" meaning the new day that's just started. In fact, in the opening scene with the gangsters, they refer to the bomb as a "valentine", so they're thinking of it as going off at the start of the 14th (February, that is) as well.
OK, I don't know if that's what the intention of the writers/animators was. If it was, I guess the main problem is that they didn't make it clear enough. So, here's my revised ending:
Donald gets covered in fish. He hears on the radio something like: "When you hear the sound of the tone, the time will be 12 o'clock, midnight. That's the end of Friday 13th. Did you all make it?" Donald, overjoyed: "Oh boy! This is my lucky day!" Then the cat emerges out of his hat, gobbles down a fish, and rubs against Donald's face. Donald chuckles awkwardly. End.
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